ADDICTIVE LEADERSHIP
ADDICTIVE LEADERSHIP

Addictive Leadership's Uncomfortable Conversation Script is a simple, repeatable formula for having difficult conversations that actually land. It takes our three principles (Surrender The Outcome, Practice Rigorous Authenticity, Do Uncomfortable Work) and puts them into a template you can use immediately.
You already know you should be having these conversations. You've probably been inspired by a dozen leadership trainings to do it. But inspiration isn't the problem. The problem is emotion. What makes Uncomfortable Work uncomfortable is fear; fear of hurting feelings, losing respect, damaging relationships, or being wrong. If we don't address that fear directly, we'll keep avoiding the conversation or having it poorly.
This script works because it leverages vulnerability. When you lead with your fear, you disarm the other person, they assume positive intent, and they can relate because everyone struggles with these same things. It completely flips how they receive the message.
We've used this with over 30,000 leaders, thousands in the accounting profession. 97% of the time, it works.
The script has three parts, in this exact order:
1. SURRENDER THE OUTCOME (Lead with Your Fear)
State what you're scared of. This is the secret ingredient. It disarms the other person, signals positive intent, and creates connection. When you're vulnerable first, they stop being defensive and start relating to you as a human.
2. PRACTICE RIGOROUS AUTHENTICITY (State Your Behavior)
Own your side of the street. Don't point fingers. Just describe what you've been doing (or not doing) as a result of that fear. This isn't about calling them out; it's about taking accountability for your part.
3. DO UNCOMFORTABLE WORK (State What You Need to Do and Why)
Say what you need to do, ask for, or address. Then connect it to the outcome that matters. This is the hard part you've been avoiding, paired with why it's important for the firm, the client, or the person you're talking to.
Example 1: Making Decisions Without Consensus (Managing Partner)
A managing partner was wasting time building consensus for decisions they were already empowered to make, just to avoid pushback.
Example 2: Giving Performance Feedback (to a Direct Report)
A leader needed to address a lack of thoroughness in a director's work but kept avoiding it.
Example 3: Managing Scope Creep (with a Client)
A client was asking for additional scope without adjusting the timeline or compensation.
Example 4: Pushing Back on Low-Value Work (with a Supervisor)
A leader was being connected to low-value referral sources that pulled them away from top clients.
Every difficult conversation you avoid, you get wrong. Every one you have poorly, you get wrong. This script gives you a proven way to get them right.
Vulnerability isn't weakness. It's what makes people trust you, respect you, and want to follow you. It demonstrates a level of self-leadership that everyone secretly wants but few actually practice.
Pick one conversation you've been avoiding. Write out the three parts. Have it this week.